Can I rub your belly? (Or FAQ's about Baby Three)

Momma, can I rub your belly?
As it seems, we have found ourselves in the very life changing position of having a third baby. We started spreading the world a few weeks ago and now, finally, we are public--like in a blog, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest kind of way.

There have been loads of questions.  And many people who assumed I was just getting fat.  Others were shocked with this turn of events since I had such drama filled pregnancies with one and two. But without exception, everyone has been excited and supportive and full of love: a good start for our newest little love!

I love to talk, but there are only so many hours in the day, so my inner PR girl has decided the only way forward is to create a Frequency Asked Questions (FAQ) document (perhaps a video press release will be in the works for next week).

1. When are you due?  
January 1. Although, most of you know my track record: this baby will be born before Christmas.

2. Are you going to go natural this time?  

I am assuming you are referring to going into labor versus having a csection. And well, I am doing what I do naturally: have a csection. 

3. Was this pregnancy planned?
 Seriously? Am I that disorganized that I would do something not planned? (perhaps) Am I am teenager? (I wish). Was my baby conceived after a night at a bar? (maybe)

4. Aren't you scared?
Yes. No. I am relatively fearless.  At some point in the last six years, I've minimized my list of things to be scared of to cancer, cancer, cancer, the dark, the people who sleep with guns under their pillows and people who drive windowless vans and attempt to lure away children. 

5. Are the girls excited?
Yes. Lily enjoys predicting the date that my belly will be so big that it no longer fits in the vehicle. Chloe loves to tell me "mommy, I like your belly," while rubbing it. Lily wants a baby to play with. Chloe wants one to dominate. Good times are coming.

6. Can I rub your belly?
I allowed one friend a quick rub, because she was so excited. And Chloe is three, so does whatever she wants. Lily also jumps in for a quick rub; but she is missing her two front teeth and super cute. My mother made an attempt and will tell you: Trish is not so much into the belly rub.

7. Are you having genetic testing, since you are of advanced maternal age?
While I have more gray hair than my mother, I am totally not old. And I hate tests. So no genetic testing.

8. Are finding out what you are having?
Well, we are quite certain it is a baby. However, if you asking if we are having a boy or girl, yes we are finding out. We might not tell you, however.

9. Were you trying for a boy?

Absolutely. In New Jersey, it is very much like Jane Austen's England. We are very concerned that Mike's fourth cousin will inherit our manor home. Fingers crossed I don't have yet another girl to marry off! 

10. Where will the baby sleep?
Since we've NEVER had a baby, I will consult Parents magazine. Perhaps in a drawer? Laundry basket? 

11. Are you getting a minivan?
Oh, the suburban legend of the minivan. Do you guys all work for a minivan dealership?

12. Do you want my exersaucer from 2006?
No. But thanks. I just want a massage.


  1. LOL! Too funny! I wanna see the press release;) My friend and I each had babies @ 40, on my records they wrote "AMA" for Advanced Maternal Age...on hers they wrote, "Elderly"...unbelievable and quite comical!

  2. MANOR HOME!!!! HAHAHA! seriously though, my excer saucer is from 08 and I can drop it off in my minivan ;)

    1. super. good luck getting through manor security. it is hard core. and we installed a moat.

  3. Especially love #6. It is your belly and your space. I think people have a hell of a nerve to even ask that question. Love your responses.

  4. I love it...especially #2, which I have been asked at least a dozen times. What the hell is natural anyway? I don't get it. And I totally touched your belly at Owen's party...even though I hate when people touch mine. Blame the pregnancy hormones.

  5. I believe I was the friend who you allowed a quick pat of the belly. I surpised myself to be quite honest, thanks for being nice about it... :) So excited for you of course!

    1. I don't rember you or Dina touching me. It was my friend who asked; as delighted as a kid at Christmas.
      All others have been banned or slapped. (I.e. my mother)

  6. No one ever asked to touch my belly. Guess I gave up too much of a miserable pregnant lady vibe. I secretly wish someone had though even if I denied them the request. I feel like I missed a pregnant-person right of passage!

  7. Hilarious as usual. We will gladly betrothe (is that a verb?) to any of your daughters. Then we can be family!!! Congratulations!!!!! Yay!!!


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