In the timeless Mommy Wars, so many of us stick our foots in our mouths with delightful little tidbits and absurdities. I am a stay-at-home-mom (and about four hundred other things, if you are wondering), but once I was a Work-Outside-the-home-mom, too. I've heard it all (I hope!). And I have friends who are working moms (scandalous!).
The bottom line: Motherhood is work. No matter how you do. No matter where you do. No matter who you pay to help you. No matter who you beg to help you. No matter if you feel help-less. No matter if you do have a stockpile of Bon-Bons. The whole deal is a lot of work--at home, in the office, on an airplane or in your bathroom (where I am sitting right now hiding and writing).
And the second bottom line: Most of us never think before we speak.
And most important: We are so lucky to be mothers. I cannot think of anything better than being called "Mom," by my girls.
One of my best working mom friends, Sarah, over at Finnegan and the Hughes, agrees with me: Motherhood is a job and we all just need to stick together. Together, Sarah and I compiled our favorite absurdities and classic opinions we've heard from our different sides of the fence.
1. "It must be so great to get out of the house"
Why yes, because I never, ever leave. Often, I remain in my bedroom for days on end. And my children fear the sunlight.
2. "Do you work? You know, "Outside-of-the-home?"
Seriously, just ask what I do. Or refer to the above, my children fear sunlight. We never leave these four walls.
3. "Ladies, grab your husband's credit card!" (as said to me in one form or another at school, dance and other fundraising events aimed at the stay-at-home-mom set).
I will grab it. Because as a woman and a non-working lady, I am not allowed to own property. It is 1775, right?
4. "What do you do all day?"
Nothing. On occasion I shower. But mostly nothing.
5. "Aren't you bored?"
No! There is Facebook!!!
6. "It must be great to be able to keep your house super clean!"
I don't even know where the vacuum is exactly.
7. "Did you just come from the gym?" (as said to me at school pick up when I am in sweats)
Yes. Because I typically dress in a ball gown for potty training.
8. "Why are the kids so cranky? Didn't you give them enough attention, you are at home?!"
Between Facebook, spot cleaning my ball gown and scheming to steal my husband's credit card, I completely ignored them!
9. "You are at home. Can you chair this committee? Babysit my kids? Plan this event?"
Absolutely. Something magical happens and time bends and twirls when you are a stay at home mom. I have limitless time!!
10. "What do you do with all your free time?"
I search for the perfect Bon-Bon!!
11. "You stay at home?!! I could never do that!"
If it wasn't for my fear of the sun, me neither!!
12. "You have it so easy. I wish I could stay at home!"
I wish you could too. So I would not have to chair every freaking bake sale.
13. "You don't work."
You are so right. I am more like a slave who cleans, runs car pools, does laundry, teaches my children, negotiates with terrorists (my children) and cleans up human feces!
14. "It must be great to sleep in."
It is. Like on the weekends.
15. "I don't know how you do it!"
I don't know how any of us Mothers do it. It is miracle work. It is work for saints. It is work for Mothers. And we all do it, brilliantly!