|This is totally going on the jacket of the book. At least that's done.|
I would like to say that she is making a political statement on the karma of eating animals or protesting against processed-vegan-fake-meat products (that defy vegan logic) or is simply a plant-eater in the making. But, alas, Lily is a fickle eater. In a house where we could have anything ranging from burritos to seared ahi tuna on a Tuesday night, Lily often ends up with a plate of frozen mixed vegetables and pasta with olive oil.
It is maddening.
The day she demanded General Tso's chicken, extra spicy, I was shocked. And then when she ate it; I fainted and tweeted about it to my 3 followers. Yes, General Tso's is very, very fried. And yes the sauce is filled with sugar, oodles of it.
But, finally we had a child who was eating an actual "dish," a food item that is made with an actual recipe; something with a sauce--a sauce!!! It felt like a miracle. It still does. Maybe someday we will convince her that marinara sauce is not poison.
I never would have predicted this startling turn of eating events.
Just like I never would have predicted that my daughter would have a brain tumor.
And that is the book I am writing. My memoir, about being Lily's mother. Not that I think I am anything special--just the opposite. But Lily is special and so are the 46 children diagnosed with childhood cancer everyday. The 46 families--mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and best friends--they are special. The world needs to know and since I have a big mouth and fast typing fingers, I know, in my heart and my soul and in every vein, that it is my job to do it.
Since September, I struggled with this self-study. My Dad died and I felt a shift in my course and became distracted with the notion of writing a book about growing up with an old man dad--a grandfather dad. That subject was and is extremely attractive: after all I know how that story ended. My Dad died.
I don't know how Lily's story will end or in some ways, the various beginnings it will have. I haven't a clue how my motherhood tale will go--how being Lily and Chloe's mother will change the outcome of my own life and the lives of those around me. I have no idea how cancer will continue to be an enormous portion of our life--both its absence and its former presence.
The uncertainty of it all became a distraction and briefly, very briefly, tossed me off course. But here I am, eating General Tso's Chicken for 12th time this month and writing my story.
It is always startling around here.
P.S. Remember my original deadline of Chinese New Year? Well, since I am my own boss (don't tell my children) and make my own calendar, I've decided that Chinese New Year is a floating holiday. I'll just use it when it is convenient. If you are completely confused by my Chinese references, here is where I began with the book:
Egg rolls, an agent and a book (February 2011)
Update on Chinese New Year and other chaos (April 2011)
It's been a while since I had a good eggroll: the book January 2012