Ten Words I have taught my children.

Us, be sassy? Never. Ever.

I am not sure why we wanted them to speak in the first place. Here's what my two lovely ladies are chatting about this week:

1. Apparently

Apparently, I fell in the toilet. 
Apparently, I  pooped on the floor.

2. Egregious

It is absolutely egregious, mommy. The gym teacher tells us to run, but cannot even walk fast.

3. Absolutely

See above, and
I am absolutely not doing my homework. I simply do not have time for it.

4. Remiss

Mommy, you have been remiss again. I wanted a present after school. Where is it?

5. Untenable

Chloe, stop being untenable. You make absolutely no sense. Minnie Mouse is not married to Donald Duck.

6. Pit

Clean my room. It is a pit. What did you do all day, exactly?


You are making me furious, mother.

8. Sinner

I am sweatin' like a sinner in church
or, a new variation, just this morning:
you are a sinner, mommy.

9. Gourmet

This is not the gourmet meal I asked for. I wanted chicken in the shape of dinosaurs.


This is not fancy. I want to be fancy. Make me fancy. Fancy! Fancy! Fancy!