I am not in the mood to write in Yoke tonight. I am having one of those days where there is so much swirling in my head—and so much big stuff and big thoughts and big ideas and then medium stuff and medium thoughts and medium ideas and then small, little tiny things also pinging around creating their own kind of havoc.
Since Memorial Day, it’s been a whirlwind around here and tomorrow, we are launching directly into normal, summer days with work and swim practice and pool afternoons and laundry and gardens and deadlines and meetings and appointments.
I fear I am not emotionally ready for all that. The adrenaline of emergencies and excitement and events and vacation and travel and work is going to expire soon; and I am not in the mood to address what happens when this expiration hits. My headspace is one of run-on sentences that lose their primary subject and reject all noun-verb agreements.
It makes writing something coherent difficult. My authentic voice is now several voices all begging for attention and the noise is so loud, that when the quiet moments arise, I don’t even recognizing the silence as silence, instead it just seems like deafening noise or a trick. It is like I have a lot of emotional clean-up and organization to do so I can get on with it all; but then I am so overwhelmed that I really don’t know where everything goes.
And I realize this blog is really about nothing discernible. But that is where I am today—incoherent, indiscernible and unintelligible.